I’ve never been a super huge Beyonce fan, but this music video is pretty powerful and gives me chills. I mean, that “Single Ladies” video was fun and all, but it was nothing like this one; had Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift to say “If I Were A Boy” was one of the “best videos of all time” then maybe that whole spectacle wouldn’t have been so icky.
Sex and other sexual activity is supposed to be enjoyable; don’t let guys manipulate you or try and get you to feel bad about not wanting to go further than you want to. Instead of a guy getting pouty and mean about you not doing what he wants to do, how about turning it around on him and reminding him that a girl needs to be relaxed and “in the mood” in order to feel comfortable? Referring back to “Tip #2”, guys feel vulnerable when you tell them you’re not ready to go further.
The bottom line is don’t do something unless you want to do it!
In the film Mean Girls, Mr. Duvall (Tim Meadows) turns to Ms. Norbury (the great Tina Fey) to ask for help with the junior girls’ attitudes: “There has to be something you can say to these young ladies. Something to help them with their self-esteem?”
Ms. Norbury responds, “It’s not a self-esteem problem. I think they’re all pretty pleased with themselves.”
However, it has proven that it is, in fact, a self-esteem issue. Anyone who is mean to others for sport is unhappy. If you’re a truly happy person who is comfortable with yourself then you don’t have the desire to hurt anyone. Misery loves company. So that girl at school who seems so perfect and beautiful who is also nasty to other girls? She’s miserable. Just trust me on this.
Can I just say to all the girls out there…if you’re with a guy who groaned or made some crack during that little kiss…you’re with what we call a closet case. That’s the number one tip-off. Number two is if they freak out about gays in the military. You know, if they can’t discuss it without giggling about showering with guys…and bending over for soap and stuff. That’s not good. Real straight guys don’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about wet naked men, if you ask me.
-Dedee Truitt, voicing over a guy/guy kissing scene in one of my favorite films from high school “The Opposite of Sex”
A teenage girl who I adore and love mentioned to me last year, “You’re either a slut or a stuck up bitch…guys call you a slut if you do stuff with them but they call you a stuck up bitch if you don’t.”
By “do stuff” we can imagine this means any kind of sexual activity.
It can feel like a “lose-lose” situation with this one. But what you must remember is this kind of talk from guys is a display of insecurity; it’s a way for them to feel in control when in reality, they’re terrified. It’s much easier for douchey guys to call a girl a “stuck up bitch” than to look at himself and accept the fact that he’s been shot down by a girl he wanted.
As for being called a slut? It’s all about intimidation, control and impressing their guy friends. (Refer back to “Tip #1”, ladies…there are nice, decent dudes out there. They’re hard to come by when they’re teenagers, but they do exist.) Popular guys want to be accepted by their friends, end of story.
If you’re a popular girl, you’ll definitely need to move down a couple of ranks in the social hierarchy to find a decent guy worth dating. Popular boys are worthless.
Welcome to “Tips for Teen Girls”! Part satire, part real advice, part reminder that this chapter of your life will be over before you know it and life will get more rad. I’m older than you, I’ve been there. The advice will be practical and blunt, not condescending. I’m open to suggestions and questions. Let’s go!